At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
