I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
