It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
