but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
