im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
