im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
