Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
