I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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