im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
