After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
