She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
