So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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