My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
