I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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