lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
When are your genitals available?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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