im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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