is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
