whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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