So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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