So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
