Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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