Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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