careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
