Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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