1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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