Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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