If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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