what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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