What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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