your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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