i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
