Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
