Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize