i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
no, he came in my armpit
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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