Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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