never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
