it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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