So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
