Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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