I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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