super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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