If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
