ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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