Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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