For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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