How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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