i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
someone get that fucking seahorse.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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