my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Let's get the cat blown out
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
