White coat. Heels.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
