So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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