Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
