So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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