I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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