Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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