3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i will never coherently bang her
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
