You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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