Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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