This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
