omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
