I'm lost and stupid without you.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
