Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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