i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Are we still banned from the library?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
