Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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