Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
