Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
