My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize