I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
