Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
