We won't sleep together?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
