weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
