Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
