I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
