Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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