i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
