would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
even my farts smell like vagina
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
